Worry for no reason

Now I admit it, I focus on the future a lot and most often plan out every detail, sometimes to a fault so much so that I find myself worried about everything that may interfere with my plans.

That was very evident on the trip we took this fall to Europe.  Since it was our first trip overseas there were so many unknowns so I really overdid it with planning and especially the worrying.

I worried about how we would handle the 9+ hour flight to Rome overnight – would we be able to sleep, would we be hungry, would we be comfortable enough? Would we be jet lagged for the first few days or our trip?

I worried about whether we would find our hotel OK, would we be able to communicate well enough, would we feel unsafe in certain areas?

All of these worries were unfounded.  We slept 5 hours on the plane and had no jet lag at all until after we returned home.  We had more than enough food for our ride.  We found our hotel easily and communicated very well with the few Italian words we knew since most people we encountered spoke some English.

Yes planning did help here by wearing comfortable clothing, bringing protein bars and sleep aids, learning a few words of the language and mapping our route to the hotel – but the worry did not need to be there.

Did anything unforeseen occur during our trip, absolutely.   We could not find the train platform to Florence and finally did minutes before the train departed! We also both caught colds a few days into our cruise and had no cold remedies with us.

The moral of the story?  I can plan as best I can based on what I believe I need to be safe and comfortable, but I don’t have to worry about it.  And…I can’t plan for everything and can handle whatever comes our way that we didn’t expect!

When have you worried for no reason?

 

Ancestry

My great grandparents are from Italy – from the towns of Gragnano and Salerno, small towns near Naples and the Amalfi Coast.  My husbands grandparents are from Sicily, Mazara del Vallo.  That is one of the reasons we had always wanted to travel to Italy.

Though were were not able to visit the towns of our ancestry during our recent trip, it felt great knowing we were close. The port we visited in Sicily, Mesina, is on the opposite side of the island from where my husbands family is from, but our tour guide spoke of what Sicily was like in the early 1900’s (when his grandmother emmigrated) so we felt a connection to the history.

When we visited the port of Naples, our tour to the Amalfi coast took us past the town of Gragnano, where one set of my great grandparents were from.  The exciting part for me was when our tour guide spoke of the town and mentioned it was known all across italy for making the best pasta!  Though we didn’t visit, we found a bag of pasta from this area when we stopped in Amalfi.  Salerno is where the Amalfi drive ends so we were able to see a bit of that town, where the other set of great grandparents were from, on the conclusion of our coastal drive.

We hope to one day be able to visit these small towns in Italy where our ancestors walked and lived their lives.  This experience of our visiting our ancestry, not only in the places but in the foods we have grown up with, made us feel more grounded, more connected to our history and who we are.

Go For It

Last night I delivered a presentation called Go For It: Life is Too Short to Let Fear Stop You.   The particpants and I talked for 90 minutes and could have gone on for much longer!  I thought I would share some of the highlights in case you are in the same place many of them are.

I first asked the group – what are you Going For?

Some didn’t know yet they felt ready to “go for” something (new/different), some said they have many ideas but not always sure which to choose, others had more specific goals like writing and getting an advanced degree.

We then looked at what is stopping them from Going For It

For those who were unsure of their path or goal, that one was easy.  When you don’t know what you want it makes it easier to stay put.  Others who had some ideas of what they wanted to go for mentioned doubt, perfection, the need for safety and procrastination as reasons they stop.

I then asked – how much does what you want to Go For matter to you?

I asked them to rate it on a scale from 0 to 100.  Some were at 100, some at 80, others at 60.    When your goal or intention really matters to you, you are more likely to Go For It.  If you find your own goals/wants low on the rating scale, ask yourself why that is.  Is the goal not clear enough to you?  Is it just a fleeting thoughts/idea or something you’ve been contemplating for a long time?  Is the goal you listed not really the goal at all (for example, if writing is your goal but you rate it low, perhaps expression is really the goal and writing just one vehicle for that).

Next steps

We then focused on strategies to help you Go For It.  Some of those included believing in yourself, taking baby steps (that are out of your comfort zone) and seeking support (you can hire a coach, find a friend who is also Going For It or find it in a group of individuals with similar interests or paths).

What would you like to Go For?