How often do you see what is right with who you are and how you operate?
For so many of us, when we look at ourselves we often see what is wrong with us. Things we wish we could be, have or do as we compare ourselves to others that have those qualities and skills or strengths we wish we had.
We wish we could…
- be a planner when we are a last minute person
- be an early riser when we are a night owl
- be more outgoing at events/parties when we prefer the company of a few
Sure, some of these areas we can choose to work on, enhance and change – especially those that truly hinder us. However, what I have found is…
If we look at what we DO have, who we already ARE, we will find that there is a lot that works WELL in our lives…..when we actually embrace it and use it.
Example 1: Time Management
I had a client wishing she was better at time management as she would cram all of her studies in the day or so before her exams (she was in a graduate program) and was so stressed by it. I asked how her grades were – they were great. I asked how often she met deadlines – she always did. Clearly something was working well here. I then asked what is the real issue then? It was the stress that showed up when she thought she shouldnot be cramming the day before, when she thought she should bea planner, study a little every day leading up to the exam. When I asked how often that worked for her, she admitted that it didn’t. For her, there is something about the energy that infuses her when she crammed.
So what did she choose instead?
When she began to accept and embrace her “gift” of how she gets things done,how she learns best, she reduced her stress. We also went a step further and made sure, in her schedule, that she allowed the space in her day – the day before her exams – to cram. That slight change further reduced her stress in cramming, thus enhancing what already works for her!
Example 2: Going it Alone
Many clients wish they could go-it-alone in their job search process. Just plowing through their day, applying for job after job like they see their friends/colleagues doing. For many, having the support, company or accountability of others is what springs them to action. Yet I hear, time and again, the suffering people experience when they do not build that support into their job search plan and suffer in silence (or worse, not engage in the process at all). When they acknowledge their need for support partners, when they seek them out and make commitments with them, Then they thrive!
Think about your own life..
When are you wishing away a trait or behavior – seeing it as a cross to bear or curse when it actually might be a gift instead?
What are the giftsthat trait or behavior give you?
What would happen if you embraced them, fully allowing yourself to use what works?