We all make many assumptions each day of our lives.
The dictionary definition of an assumption is “a thing that is accepted as true or as certain to happen, without proof”.
Assumptions are the stories we tell – about ourselves, about others and the world – that give meaning to what we are experiencing. Assumptions can have a big impact on our moods, our behaviors, our choices and our overall sense of satisfaction in life.
Of course, there are many assumptions we make that are good, that serve us well. The trouble comes when we create assumptions that stop us from pursuing or doing what we truly want, that cause us to want to retreat from others, or to limit our lives. Assumptions can rob us of discovery, of our own sense of agency, our resourcefulness, relationships and sometimes our place in the world.
So, what do we do with all these assumptions? Be CURIOUS instead. Curiosity allows freedom to choose what you see and how you see it. It is a sense of openness about yourself, others and the world. Curiosity brings in playfulness, lightness to what you are seeing and experiencing.
Curiosity can take several forms, two of which are:
- Being Curious about other possible (better feeling) reasons for what you are experiencing
- Being Curious about what is already GOOD within/about this situation or person
Here are an example of Assumptions I hear in my work with clients – and ideas to turn them into Curiosity:
The Situation: You are experiencing some challenges at your job
Some assumptions that can be created about this:
- My boss is out to get me
- My team does not like me
- This job just cannot be done
What if, when you notice you are making an assumption, you switch to being CURIOUS about reasons for these challenges (that feel neutral or better)?
- Perhaps my boss and I have different views on this issue
- Perhaps my team and I have different styles or expectations
- Perhaps there is another way to get this job done
What if you were thenCurious about what is already Good?
- When has/does my boss work well with me?
- When has my team been supportive, inclusive? When I have I been to them?
- What work have I done?
How do you know when you are making assumptions that are limiting you?
When you are feeling badly about a situation you are in, notice the “story” you are telling (out loud or in your head) about it.
What if, the next time you made an assumption, you switched to being Curious?
Curiosity can open your world to new, more inspiring and “feel good” views of what is already there.