In some of my seminars I have been asking the question:
Do you ask for help in your workplace and in your life?
Most of the audience, at every seminar, said no they do not ask for help. When I asked what their biggest reason for not asking for help at work was they said something like “It will look like I don’t know what I am doing”. The interesting thing is, when I asked the audience if they think that same thought about a colleague that asks for help, they said no!
In their personal lives the message was similar, something like “I should be able to handle this on my own” or “I don’t want to bother anyone”. Should we be able to handle everything on our own? Is it really possible?
Sometimes others offer their help, and we turn them down for much the same reasons.
What if you were to ask for or accept help?
How could your life be changed for the better if you did?
Americans have grown up with images of strong people who settled this nation, blazed trails, conquered the west, fought great wars against powerful enemies across the globe, invented amazing products, or created vast wealth. Our perception of George Washington, Wyatt Earp, Teddy Roosevelt, Albert Einstein, and other noted historical figures lead us to believe that we must have an inherent weakness if we ask for assistance. It is somewhat akin to reverting to a childhood status where you were dependent upon your parents for supply and for problem solving. Wishing to avoid that status at all costs, we forge ahead on our own, flanked by our ever-present companions known as frustration and insecurity.
For a nation that has espoused teamwork for decades, we often revert to a “Lone Ranger” approach when challenges arise. Our greatest effectiveness will occur when we lay those misguided beliefs on the sacrificial alter and boldly say to someone, “Would you mind giving me a hand?”