People come to me because they want something to change in their life. That “something” could be a change in their work situation (a better working environment, achieve greater fulfillment…) or a change in their overall life (more quality time with their family, better communication with their colleagues…).
In the years I have been helping clients through changes like these, I have found three essentials that are critical elements to help move from the idea of change to taking action around change: Clarity, Confidence and Courage.
Clarity – Part I
What Do You Want?
If you don’t know what you want, it’s pretty hard to take a step forward. You know you want “something” to change, but may not even be sure what that “something” is. From my clients, I will often hear things like:
“I want to be happy, more fulfilled, better balance….”
“I am very clear about what I don’t want, what is dissatisfying or frustrating….”
Both of these are great places to start, and still more clarity is needed to understand what each of these areas mean to you, what they may look like, feel like? You know you have “enough” clarity when you can see the beginning of a path, the glimmer of a direction, enough to see the next step.
Whether you have a glimmer or full clarity, your next step is to “anchor” this clarity so it feel real before you get to Clarity part 2
Confidence
How much do you believe in yourself? Believe that what you want is possible for you, that you have what it takes to make it a reality? When you believe that what you want is possible to have/be/do, you are much more likely to commit to it, and often find the resources to make it happen more effortlessly than you may think. When you do not believe something is possible for you, you often won’t even try. Not feeling very confidant right now? What if I told you that you can be more confident in a matter of minutes? You have gotten pretty far in life already using your unique combination of strengths, qualities and skills. When you think about the clarity that is taking shape, imagine how you will use what you already have to get what you want.
William James said ““Human beings, by changing the inner attitudes of their minds, can change the outer aspects of their lives.”
Want a boost to your confidence? Take courageous actions
Courage
So often, I hear people say “when I am more confident in…I will then move forward with….” What happens? Often nothing. Courage is the ability to take action with the confidence you already have, while venturing into some unknown. Those courageous actions build your confidence even further. A courageous action is something that takes you out of your comfort zone. These actions can be small steps or giant leaps. You choose.
You also do not need full clarity to begin taking courageous action. A glimmer of clarity can illuminate your next step. When you take that step with courage (and with the confidence you find within you) it will lead you to greater clarity, greater confidence and your next step.
Martin Luther King said “You don’t have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step in faith.”
Clarity – Part II
How Will You Get There?
Notice I included this section last. So many of my clients want to know the How as soon as there is a glimmer of clarity. What I have found is that the HOW is best discovered/considered after the “what” is clear and compelling, after you have discovered the confidence already there within you and after you have begun taking some courageous steps.
If you start to think about the HOW too early, before there is real clarity and stronger confidence, you run the risk of letting go of many ideas and wind up back at square one.
As you may be noticing, Clarity, Confidence and Courage is not a linear process. You are not finished with one before moving on to the other. They work in tandem, building off of each other, strengthening each other. These elements can also show up in various ways and at various times throughout your change process.
Here is one example of how these elements were expressed in a client I worked with:
A client and I had worked together through his transition from one role/one industry to a higher level role in new industry. We worked together on helping him gain Clarity of where he wanted to be and how to focus his marketing efforts in his job search to go after this new role/industry. He landed the job he wanted and excitedly got started. A few months in, he started questioning his choice, you see this new environment was vastly different than his old one. New set of expectations, new pace, new everything. For a moment (or two) he began questioning his Confidence – could he succeed and excel in this new environment? He realized that he needed the Courage to step out of the comfort of the old model into this new one. The Courage to test out new ways of showing up, to confidently use his strengths to work in this new space.
If you are struggling with any of these areas, contact me for a free consultation to discuss what is going on for you and learn how I can help you to gain greater clarity, confidence and courage as you embark on your change.